The Star Trek Reboot or: How I Learned to Love Myself
and Stop Worrying about the Bomb
BY MICHAEL TAYLOR
(** out of *****)
The new Star Trek has the box office appeal and critical acclaim to revive the fortunes of this fallen franchise, but I
found it a frustrating effort that ultimately fails to escape the gravitational pull of its slapdash script and its adolescent
mindset.
Let's start with the positive. The film looks great. The special effects are seamlessly integrated into the live action, and J.J.
Abrams directs the whole affair with considerable visual flair. The action scenes are done in the now-mandatory high-
impact style, where every punch seems to be delivered with preternatural fury and every explosion is world-shattering.
But Abrams never lets us get lost amidst all the sturm und drang. On more than one occasion, I found myself admiring the
inventiveness of his compositions and camera movements, some of which border on expressionism -- and that’s a good
thing. The CG work is better than average and occasionally hits a home run. I especially liked the landscape and
architecture of Vulcan, as well as the converted Romulan mining vessel, with its jagged black squid-like exterior and its
cavernous, industrial interior spaces. It never occurred to me that a spacecraft could drop anchor. Good stuff.
Of course, Star Trek was always more about the characters than the effects. The choice of actors to play the iconic crew
of the U.S.S. Enterprise is a mixed bag, although they do well enough to carry another sequel or two. My biggest
complaint is with Chris Pine as James T. Kirk. Admittedly, he’s not given the best script to work with -- more on that in a
moment -- but I just couldn’t accept him as Kirk. In his heyday, William Shatner was a handsome, suave and charismatic
actor. Yes, he was overdramatic, but his theatricality somehow fit his role as the lead actor on stage. Pine, on the other
hand, is a unique-looking actor who is alternately pretty and ugly. He has a certain animal magnetism, I suppose, but none
of Shatner’s finer qualities. Whereas Shatner played Kirk with cool, leonine grace, Pine just plays him with brashness.
Maybe Pine will grow on me, but right now he just seems like a punk kid.
On the other hand, Zachary Quinto and Karl Urban are quite good as Spock and McCoy, respectively. Quinto bears an
uncanny resemblance to Leonard Nimoy both in his features and his physique. Although he doesn’t quite capture Nimoy’s
saturnine qualities -- those icy stares Nimoy’s Spock used to give Kirk and Bones were priceless -- Quinto is a nearly ideal
choice for the new Spock. Karl Urban also bears more than a passing resemblance to DeForest Kelley and he conveys the
same irascible frontier manners. Occasionally, however, he seems to be doing an impression of his predecessor (the way
Frank Caliendo does a George W. Bush impression), and the illusion of character is shattered. Even so, this is someone I
wanted to see more of.
I don’t have a lot to say about the supporting characters. Let’s face it, as beloved as they are, Sulu, Uhura, Chekov and
Scotty were never particularly well-rounded. In this version, the one who impressed me the most was Zoe Saldana as
Uhura. She gets a lot more screen time than Nichelle Nichols ever got in the old Star Trek films, and she earns it. She
comes across as intelligent, polished and talented, exactly what you’d expect from a young Star Fleet cadet. The rest of
the supporting actors are a step down from their predecessors. Anton Yelchin as Chekov is precious in every sense of the
word and his accent bugged the crap out of me. Simon Pegg, playing Scotty, spends most of his onscreen time
attempting to reprise the John Rhys-Davies/Gimli role from Lord of the Rings, but somehow the comic relief manages to
come across more like a fart at a cocktail party. John Cho as Sulu is just plain dull. Where is George Takei’s mordant wit
when you need it?
But let’s give the actors a break. They are trying to fake their way through a script that seems to take pride in straining
credulity. The setup is not bad, even if it is a bit obvious in establishing the characters. (Kirk is a young hellion. Check.
Spock is conflicted about his dual identity. Check.) But by the time we get to the second act, the absurdities begin to pile
so high that I stopped trying to believe any of it because I just didn’t care anymore. It’s not so much all the silly science
and time travel business. I can swallow that without blinking. It’s the patently unbelievable plot developments. Let’s
review the following chain of events: First, Kirk is put on academic suspension and grounded from all flight missions for
allegedly cheating on a combat simulator test. He managers to defy that order and, next thing we know, he’s been
promoted to first officer of the Enterprise. Oh, why the hell not? The kid’s got potential. Then he challenges Captain
Spock’s authority on the bridge and is literally kicked off the ship. (I guess they forgot to put a brig on this state-of-the-
art vessel -- or, for that matter, any officer over the age of 30.) Luckily, Kirk lands on an ice planet and is chased by
gigantic alien predators right into the very ice cave where the Spock-from-the-future (hereinafter, “Spock Prime”) has
holed himself up waiting for...well...I guess, waiting for Kirk to show up so he can explain the whole thing to him and
beam him back aboard the Enterprise. (Note to self: bring torches to ice planet so that gigantic predators can be scared
off instantaneously.) Once Kirk returns, he follows Spock Prime’s advice and provokes present-day Spock to explode in
anger and attempt to strangle Kirk. Of course, everyone else on the bridge just looks on. Then, when Spock falls for this
simple ploy and resigns his command, everyone acquiesces as Kirk plops himself into the captain’s chair. Just another day
on the U.S.S. Enterprise: “Where military protocol is optional”.
The credo of the Star Trek universe is to "boldly go where no one has gone before". But the reboot turns this on its head.
All of the mystery and wonder of "the other" has been wrung out. Even when we receive a visitor from the future, it turns
out that he's us. This Star Trek is a completely closed system. Me and my Fave Five are the only "there" there. Other
people exist only as foils for my personal psychodrama. The villain of the piece, Eric Bana's Nero, comes across as a
petulant adolescent, constantly talking about his "pain" and how much he's going to make everyone else feel it. He won't
be satisfied until the entire universe is curled up in the fetal position, sucking its thumb and crying for mommy. But Nero
is just the flip side of James T. Kirk, himself a petulant, insubordinate brat. The difference is that Kirk doesn’t want the
universe to feel his pain; he just wants it to groove on his coolness. The older generation -- here personified by Captain
Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) and Spock Prime -- exist only to reaffirm the smug self-satisfaction of the new
generation of heroes and to pass on the torch. Nice job, Pike, I got you a gold-plated wheelchair for your retirement.
All of this reaches a cloying extreme in the final scene with Spock Prime. Spock Prime explains why he told Kirk not to
reveal the secret of Spock Prime’s existence to present-day Spock, despite the fact that doing so would have been the
quickest and surest way to defeat a madman plotting to destroy the universe. You see, it’s because Spock Prime wanted
to show Kirk and present-day Spock how much they belong together. I suppose it’s okay to put the entire universe at risk
so that this beautiful friendship can get off to an auspicious start. (How did that Vulcan proverb go again? Was it “the
needs of the one or two outweigh the needs of the many”?) When present-day Spock asks his wise elder self for advice
about whether to rebuild the Vulcan culture or continue his Star Fleet career, Spock Prime responds “Just do what feels
right.” Thank you, future self, don’t mind if I do.
All of this adds up to a bucket-load of good old-fashioned narcissism. In fact, one could argue that this is the real fantasy
that’s being sold here. You, beautiful you, are so special that nothing else is really there. So you can just do what you
want, and everything will go your way, baby. Yes, there are “other people” and “consequences” and things like that, but
let someone else worry about it. You’re cool and you deserve this. You’re Star Fleet royalty and you’re entitled. You’ll be
the hero and everything will just be handed to you on a silver platter. You don’t have to earn it, you don’t have to
sacrifice, and you don’t have to make any hard choices.
Am I being hard on this movie? Yes, probably a little. But there’s something here that really stinks. There’s a lot of talk in
Star Trek about finding your destiny. But unless James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock and the rest of the gang are allowed to
operate in a real moral universe, they can only exist as personalities, never truly as persons. Let’s hope Part II of the
reboot allows a little fresh air in. Otherwise, we’re all going to suffocate on our own wonderfulness.
- Michael Taylor
19 May, 2009
and Stop Worrying about the Bomb
BY MICHAEL TAYLOR
(** out of *****)
The new Star Trek has the box office appeal and critical acclaim to revive the fortunes of this fallen franchise, but I
found it a frustrating effort that ultimately fails to escape the gravitational pull of its slapdash script and its adolescent
mindset.
Let's start with the positive. The film looks great. The special effects are seamlessly integrated into the live action, and J.J.
Abrams directs the whole affair with considerable visual flair. The action scenes are done in the now-mandatory high-
impact style, where every punch seems to be delivered with preternatural fury and every explosion is world-shattering.
But Abrams never lets us get lost amidst all the sturm und drang. On more than one occasion, I found myself admiring the
inventiveness of his compositions and camera movements, some of which border on expressionism -- and that’s a good
thing. The CG work is better than average and occasionally hits a home run. I especially liked the landscape and
architecture of Vulcan, as well as the converted Romulan mining vessel, with its jagged black squid-like exterior and its
cavernous, industrial interior spaces. It never occurred to me that a spacecraft could drop anchor. Good stuff.
Of course, Star Trek was always more about the characters than the effects. The choice of actors to play the iconic crew
of the U.S.S. Enterprise is a mixed bag, although they do well enough to carry another sequel or two. My biggest
complaint is with Chris Pine as James T. Kirk. Admittedly, he’s not given the best script to work with -- more on that in a
moment -- but I just couldn’t accept him as Kirk. In his heyday, William Shatner was a handsome, suave and charismatic
actor. Yes, he was overdramatic, but his theatricality somehow fit his role as the lead actor on stage. Pine, on the other
hand, is a unique-looking actor who is alternately pretty and ugly. He has a certain animal magnetism, I suppose, but none
of Shatner’s finer qualities. Whereas Shatner played Kirk with cool, leonine grace, Pine just plays him with brashness.
Maybe Pine will grow on me, but right now he just seems like a punk kid.
On the other hand, Zachary Quinto and Karl Urban are quite good as Spock and McCoy, respectively. Quinto bears an
uncanny resemblance to Leonard Nimoy both in his features and his physique. Although he doesn’t quite capture Nimoy’s
saturnine qualities -- those icy stares Nimoy’s Spock used to give Kirk and Bones were priceless -- Quinto is a nearly ideal
choice for the new Spock. Karl Urban also bears more than a passing resemblance to DeForest Kelley and he conveys the
same irascible frontier manners. Occasionally, however, he seems to be doing an impression of his predecessor (the way
Frank Caliendo does a George W. Bush impression), and the illusion of character is shattered. Even so, this is someone I
wanted to see more of.
I don’t have a lot to say about the supporting characters. Let’s face it, as beloved as they are, Sulu, Uhura, Chekov and
Scotty were never particularly well-rounded. In this version, the one who impressed me the most was Zoe Saldana as
Uhura. She gets a lot more screen time than Nichelle Nichols ever got in the old Star Trek films, and she earns it. She
comes across as intelligent, polished and talented, exactly what you’d expect from a young Star Fleet cadet. The rest of
the supporting actors are a step down from their predecessors. Anton Yelchin as Chekov is precious in every sense of the
word and his accent bugged the crap out of me. Simon Pegg, playing Scotty, spends most of his onscreen time
attempting to reprise the John Rhys-Davies/Gimli role from Lord of the Rings, but somehow the comic relief manages to
come across more like a fart at a cocktail party. John Cho as Sulu is just plain dull. Where is George Takei’s mordant wit
when you need it?
But let’s give the actors a break. They are trying to fake their way through a script that seems to take pride in straining
credulity. The setup is not bad, even if it is a bit obvious in establishing the characters. (Kirk is a young hellion. Check.
Spock is conflicted about his dual identity. Check.) But by the time we get to the second act, the absurdities begin to pile
so high that I stopped trying to believe any of it because I just didn’t care anymore. It’s not so much all the silly science
and time travel business. I can swallow that without blinking. It’s the patently unbelievable plot developments. Let’s
review the following chain of events: First, Kirk is put on academic suspension and grounded from all flight missions for
allegedly cheating on a combat simulator test. He managers to defy that order and, next thing we know, he’s been
promoted to first officer of the Enterprise. Oh, why the hell not? The kid’s got potential. Then he challenges Captain
Spock’s authority on the bridge and is literally kicked off the ship. (I guess they forgot to put a brig on this state-of-the-
art vessel -- or, for that matter, any officer over the age of 30.) Luckily, Kirk lands on an ice planet and is chased by
gigantic alien predators right into the very ice cave where the Spock-from-the-future (hereinafter, “Spock Prime”) has
holed himself up waiting for...well...I guess, waiting for Kirk to show up so he can explain the whole thing to him and
beam him back aboard the Enterprise. (Note to self: bring torches to ice planet so that gigantic predators can be scared
off instantaneously.) Once Kirk returns, he follows Spock Prime’s advice and provokes present-day Spock to explode in
anger and attempt to strangle Kirk. Of course, everyone else on the bridge just looks on. Then, when Spock falls for this
simple ploy and resigns his command, everyone acquiesces as Kirk plops himself into the captain’s chair. Just another day
on the U.S.S. Enterprise: “Where military protocol is optional”.
The credo of the Star Trek universe is to "boldly go where no one has gone before". But the reboot turns this on its head.
All of the mystery and wonder of "the other" has been wrung out. Even when we receive a visitor from the future, it turns
out that he's us. This Star Trek is a completely closed system. Me and my Fave Five are the only "there" there. Other
people exist only as foils for my personal psychodrama. The villain of the piece, Eric Bana's Nero, comes across as a
petulant adolescent, constantly talking about his "pain" and how much he's going to make everyone else feel it. He won't
be satisfied until the entire universe is curled up in the fetal position, sucking its thumb and crying for mommy. But Nero
is just the flip side of James T. Kirk, himself a petulant, insubordinate brat. The difference is that Kirk doesn’t want the
universe to feel his pain; he just wants it to groove on his coolness. The older generation -- here personified by Captain
Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) and Spock Prime -- exist only to reaffirm the smug self-satisfaction of the new
generation of heroes and to pass on the torch. Nice job, Pike, I got you a gold-plated wheelchair for your retirement.
All of this reaches a cloying extreme in the final scene with Spock Prime. Spock Prime explains why he told Kirk not to
reveal the secret of Spock Prime’s existence to present-day Spock, despite the fact that doing so would have been the
quickest and surest way to defeat a madman plotting to destroy the universe. You see, it’s because Spock Prime wanted
to show Kirk and present-day Spock how much they belong together. I suppose it’s okay to put the entire universe at risk
so that this beautiful friendship can get off to an auspicious start. (How did that Vulcan proverb go again? Was it “the
needs of the one or two outweigh the needs of the many”?) When present-day Spock asks his wise elder self for advice
about whether to rebuild the Vulcan culture or continue his Star Fleet career, Spock Prime responds “Just do what feels
right.” Thank you, future self, don’t mind if I do.
All of this adds up to a bucket-load of good old-fashioned narcissism. In fact, one could argue that this is the real fantasy
that’s being sold here. You, beautiful you, are so special that nothing else is really there. So you can just do what you
want, and everything will go your way, baby. Yes, there are “other people” and “consequences” and things like that, but
let someone else worry about it. You’re cool and you deserve this. You’re Star Fleet royalty and you’re entitled. You’ll be
the hero and everything will just be handed to you on a silver platter. You don’t have to earn it, you don’t have to
sacrifice, and you don’t have to make any hard choices.
Am I being hard on this movie? Yes, probably a little. But there’s something here that really stinks. There’s a lot of talk in
Star Trek about finding your destiny. But unless James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock and the rest of the gang are allowed to
operate in a real moral universe, they can only exist as personalities, never truly as persons. Let’s hope Part II of the
reboot allows a little fresh air in. Otherwise, we’re all going to suffocate on our own wonderfulness.
- Michael Taylor
19 May, 2009
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